JOURNAL EXTRACT #02

20th of July

I am sitting on the tiled floor in our apartment in Salerno, a fan at my back, with sweat leaking from every pore. My first European run was a success.

It’s half past eight in the morning and the sun has been up for hours already, the heat is rising with it. Dom and I got up early and ran along the foreshore. It was beautiful weaving through the waking township of Salerno, ducking between the picturesque apartments, and then trotting alongside the apparently endless Tyrrhenian Sea. A sea I intend to swim in today.

Yesterday we bused our way along the coastline to Amalfi, a trip that turned out to be a test of endurance and stamina. For me, at any rate. Dom and Nikki had seats and fared better. As would be expected, the road following the coast folds and winds around like a discarded piece of ribbon, which is breathtaking to look at, but a torture to ride on when standing for an hour and a half on a very crowded bus, where the air-conditioning is no match for the beating sun outside and the press of bodies within.

With every hairpin turn the bus took, my hands would clench whatever bar or surface was available, my legs and abdominal muscles would tense, braced for the swing of the bus and the jostling of bodies. By the end of the trip, I felt as if I’d done a workout.

The road was so tight that with every bend traffic would stop completely, and our bus would edge past cars with only centimetres between the vehicles. Scooters would zip through the tiny breach between bus and car like self-absorbed mosquitos. At times, cars would have to reverse around blind corners to make space for our bus to get through.

At one particularly tight hairpin, the inevitable happened — our bus and another bus entered the turn at the same moment. What followed was a jerking and jolting dance between the two buses as they very slowly crawled past one another with literally half a centimetre between vehicles. The other bus was a tour bus, and not at all crowded like our public bus. Due to the closeness of the vehicles, the passengers on the other bus were only a hand span away. One chubby little boy found the whole experience hilarious, laughing and waving at us. From where I stood, legs aching, covered in sweat and not all of it mine, squashed between stranger’s bodies, head spinning from the endless series of turns, looking into his deliciously spacious and air-conditioned bus, I wanted to slap his chubby little face.

After about fifteen minutes of bunny hopping, the two buses passed, untouched, just, and the patrons on my bus broke out into applause. It was a nice moment.

Once I arrived and got mouthfuls of water into me (from a fountain depicting a topless woman — you can guess where the water came from ) and I sat and enjoyed a beer and pizza, I had revived enough to concede the trip was well worth it. The town of Amalfi was beautiful and the view of the coast line staggering.

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(Nikki featured refilled her water bottle)

After a good explore, and some gelato, we made our way back on a bus that only ever got about half full. I had a seat to myself, was cooled by the air-conditioning, and even managed a nap on the way back.

Dom, Nikki and I have been discussing our plans for living in London and our home there, and it’s strange to know that stage is yet to come. The beauty and fairytale quality of Italy has been completely absorbing, and it’s incredible to know so much is yet to come. It’s slightly daunting, but also exhilarating, all that unknown.

 

22nd of July

I am laying in bed, a metre away from Dom and Nikki’s bed, in our new apartment in Sorrento — I say bed, but the divot running down the centre doesn’t let me forget the fact that it’s actually a couch folded down. Despite the channel splitting the mattress, I slept quite well.

It’s six o’clock in the morning, but my body is wide awake. The sun rises each day at around five-thirty and sets well past nine at night. Despite these long hours of sunlight, I don’t find myself getting tired throughout the day, quite the opposite. I think the ever-present sunlight stops the hibernating chemicals in my brain from going into action. It’s a good thing.

Our last day in Salerno was spent in idleness and relaxation, and was perfect. We sat and had coffee and nutella-filled croissants at a cafe (they’re mad for nutella over here — I’ve seen a litre tub of nutella on sale at the supermarket. I refrained from buying it, reasoning it’d tip me over the weight limit when catching flights), wandered along the shore, and went for a swim. The water was lukewarm and it felt incredible to have liquid wash away the sweat from my skin and to stop feeling hot for the first time in days.

We made ourselves some chicken schnitzel and salad for dinner, and drunk Italian beer, before settling in for a competition of the card game “Asshole.” Many more profanities than that were used by the end of the forty rounds.

Yesterday was a travelling day, and we opted to get the bulk of the travel down the coast from Salerno to Sorrento by ferry rather than bus — both to enjoy the view of the coast by boat, and to avoid another bus ordeal as experience on the way to Amalfi.

We stopped for a coffee on the way to the docks at the cafe we’d visited the day before. The big Italian mumma behind the register and I got talking (I think the six bags we had between us may have tipped her off to the fact that we were tourists). We each insisted each other’s country was beautiful and she claimed she would love to visit Australia one day. She finished the conversation by saying, “Big kisses,” and it felt good to know the ability I earned as a nurse to charm elderly woman was still functioning. If I could figure out how to turn this ability to woman within my own age bracket, I’d be set.

The ferry was heaven compared to the hell of the bus. The breeze off the ocean cooled the sweat earned from the walk to the dock carrying fifteen kilograms in luggage, and the Amalfi coastline drifted past, a continuum of craggy cliffs, houses and apartments and dome-topped churches clinging to the steep sides like insects, defying gravity. Caves pocked the rock and gulls, twice the size of Australian gulls, drifted through the scene.

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We eventually arrived in Positano and from there had to bus it the rest of the distance to Sorrento. Positano is a township of stairs as it’s built up the cliff side, and we climbed most of them in the short time we were there as the place to buy bus tickets and the bus stop were on opposite sides of the town. Whoever designed that uneconomical setup is an evil evil person. The relaxing and cooling effect of the ferry evaporated as, with the aforementioned fifteen kilograms of luggage strapped to my body, I climbed up and up and up. To be fair, the view from the bus stop was damn incredible, and the bus, once it arrived, was deliciously air-conditioned.

We had planned to meet a physio friend of Nikki’s, Tori, in Sorrento, but would arrange that once we arrived and sniffed out some free wi-fi. However, halfway through the bus trip, Dom says, “There’s Tori,” as the bus pulled over and she climbed aboard. Nikki greeted her from her seat, calling out “Tori!”, who instinctively replied with a confused “Hi,” before recognising Nikki and giving a much more exuberant greeting. The four of us enjoyed food, gelato, and explored the sprawling and stunning town of Sorrento for a few hours before Tori had to bus it back to the township of stairs. She told us after three days staying there, her calves were killing her.

Today we explore Pompeii.

 

23rd of July

I am on the Sorrento beach, cliffs rising vertical behind me, and the ocean stretching away ahead of me, apparently, forever. I am surrounded by a throng of people, packed into a small square of dirty, gritty sand that is the free section of the beach. Dom, Nikki and I opted for this sardine-like stretch of sand over the deck chairs and umbrellas checking the wooden jetties to either side to save each of us fifteen euro, essentially covering the cost of dinner.

This crowded square feels more authentic anyway, surrounded by locals of all ages, from tottering toddlers to the sun-browned elderly. At any rate, once you get into the water none of it matters — as the warm salty sea envelopes you, you feel like you have all the space in the world. The water is blue and clear, and decidedly Mediterranean.

Today is a rest day after yesterday’s efforts at Pompeii. It was another thirty-six degree day and the sun beat its rays through a perfectly clear sky, milking beads of swear from my skin on contact. I don’t think I’ve written an entry yet that hasn’t mentioned sweat, and for that I apologise, but with the heat it always seems to be on the edge of my mind. Even here, minutes out of the water, I can feel droplets forming.

Anyway, I was talking of Pompeii.

We trained it in from Sorrento where men with accordions serenaded us and a salesman wandering the carriages sold Nikki a fan — a valuable investment due to the aforementioned heat.

We joined a walking tour and stepped inside the walls surrounding the ancient and excavated city of Pompeii, which once housed twenty-thousand people until Mount Vesuvius spewed out a blanket of ash that covered the city in seven metres worth of sooty detritus. The fact that Pompeii was ten kilometres away from the mount is what resulted in it being covered with ash rather that lava, making excavation a much easier process.

Our guide led us through the ruins, and, as she described the old city and its functions, the broken ring of stones that was once a bread oven, the rectangular stone pit propped up on brick stilts that was once a spa, the space below where fires banked, steam spewing into the air for the enjoyment of gladiators, it transformed from vague dilapidated shapes into a society, into homes and shops, and I became achingly aware that people once walked here, lived here. It was eerie, and incredible, and transportive.

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The city would once have been stunning, every wall decorated with stucco sculptures and intricate frescos. The tragedy of what happened was immortalised in the plaster casts of the dead, frozen forever in the posture of the final resting. If the reality of the place hadn’t be impressed upon me by this point, these figures would have slammed the message home that this was once a place of people, not greatly different from home.

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The brothel also conveyed the same message, although through different means. Artwork above the prostitutes doorways was incredibly well-preserved, giving an insight into the speciality of each woman. It was educational. I feel very worldly.

After returning home and escaping the heat (of a sort — a standing fan can only do so much) we all napped, woke, and ate. Soft cheese of brie and mozzarella, cold meats of salami and prosciutto, and fresh tomatoes covered warm bread and crackers seasoned with basil and olive oil.

It’s hard, this travelling thing, but I accept the sacrifice willingly.

JOURNAL EXTRACT #01

16th of July

I’m currently in Abu Dhabi airport – a place I never really thought I’d be sitting. Not that in my life I didn’t anticipate airport or travelling, the Untied Arab Emirates was just never on that mental list.

It’s thirty-five degrees here, as opposed to the eight degrees I left back in Melbourne. The jacket I cleverly thought to wear rather than pack in an exorbitant waste of precious space is shed and on the chair beside me.

So far the trip has been – and dare I say it and risk jinxing is all – easy. Perhaps this is due to the pendant around my neck given to me by my sister depicting the god Ganesh. A custom’s lady here in Abu Dhabi remarked on it, surprised to see a young, blonde white-boy wearing it. When she queried me with “Ganesh?”, and pointed to it, I confidently replied “Yes, Ganesh. The remover of obstacles,” as if I was the embodiment of all worldly knowledge on the religion of Hindu. I assure you I’m not, and have my sister to thank for this scrap of information that helped me win over the custom’s lady.

I have a cold at the moment, an apparently immutable side-effect of travelling, even when just setting off, it seems. I have been hoarding tissues to get me through the flights – they may be the most important thing in the world to me right now. Luckily for me, and my fellow passengers, I have had the window seat with my last two flights, and could at least turn away when expelling the contents of my nasal cavity.

I am missing my family and friends, but more so due to the knowledge of how long it will be until I see them than from any huge passage of time so far. It has been eighteen hours since I hugged my parents, sister and brother goodbye at the airport.

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On the flight from Melbourne to Sydney I sat next to a couple heading to a national go-karting competition that they were officiating. In another apparently immutable side-effect of travelling, they were from Morwell, and we discussed people who had grown up down the road from me while growing up. From Sydney to Abu Dhabi I sat next to a sweet Italian couple who were heading to Napals for the first time in fifteen years to visit family. After helping Marie find the port for her headphones post her attempts to shove the plug into a USB port, we became firm friends.

I’m now off to message family and friends through the mundane miracle of the internet. Thank god I live in a time when even here, alone in the Abu Dhabi airport, I’m not really alone.

17th of July — scratch that, 18th of July

I had good intentions to write yesterday, but ran dry on time and motivation. Jet lag and a few beers were to blame.

So I’m in Italy. In Rome. From our small apartment I can hear church bells ringing out, and yesterday I wandered through the ruins of the Colosseum. To say it feels surreal doesn’t do it justice to the sense of dislocation and wonder. Italy has been a presence since childhood due to my primary school’s weak attempt to teach us Italian, and because of this I saw pictures of the Colosseum at the same time I was reading children’s books. Somewhere in my head the concepts merged, and the land of Italy joined the ranks of Narnia and Middle-Earth as just another fantasy land. To be here, to be walking through the physical evidence of those childhood stories is…well, imagine getting to meet Aslan. Yeah.

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The food has incredibly lived up to the hype, and I can foresee myself happily eating my way across Europe. A friend from Austria asked if I’d brought loose-fitting pants for the trip due to all the delicious food I’d be eating — I no longer think she was joking. I’ve made a promise to myself to maintain my exercise, if only so I can completely indulge in the food, guilt-free. Because, let’s face it — I’m not going to hold back on the food.

A change of location now: I’m on a train heading towards Salerno. We were originally going to brave a bus and save some euros but google failed us and delivered us to the train station. And seeing as we were at the train station…needless to say, we took the train. Which, while sitting here, still warm despite the train’s air-conditioning, is probably a good thing — air-conditioning was not guaranteed on the bus. We also learnt the hard way that seats on the train are allocated, and after an awkward bilingual conversation with an elderly Italian couple, wrestled our over-sized bags through three very cramped and full carriages to our seats.

The beautiful Italian countryside is whipping past the windows, so I’m going to stop and enjoy that for a bit.

19th of July

I am on a balcony, three stories above the ground in the seaside town of Salerno. Our apartment building bookends the street, and from my vantage point I’m looking down the corridor of buildings, painted an assortment of creams and tan. Scooters and cars drift by on this lazy Sunday morning, and it is all perfectly stereotypically Italian.

The Italian summer is definitely a contender for an Australian summer —  temperatures remain in the mid-thirties. Our current place is lacking in air-conditioning, and while the owners promised us a fan, they were successful in breaking said fan in their attempt to construct it. So no fan. Luckily, all three of us, Dom, Nikki and myself, are all veterans of a summer in Brunswick, a red-brick house deprived of insulation, and are familiar with braving the heat. This mostly involves laying topless (Dom and I, not Nikki) on the cold tiles and doing as little as possible.

We took a stroll through Salerno and alone the coast — the township curled alone the crag of land with mountains standing senile behind and the sun dripping down in a haze of orange. It was beautiful. And made more so by the beer we enjoyed.

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A concert was taking place on the beach in a temporary stadium, with a line of teenage girls waiting to get it. We managed to discern the headliners were a group called “The Kolors,” which we presume are like an Italian One Direction. Dom was disappointed we couldn’t get in.

A lot of this is still feeling surreal, although made less so by the necessary practicalities travel forces upon you — coordinating transport, arranging accommodation, figuring out meals and activities. These administrative tasks keep the whole experience grounded. The fact that I won’t see my family and friends for so long still hasn’t sunk in. Intellectually I’ve accepted it, but a part of my brain insists this is just a holiday, and my normal reality is waiting around the corner, ready to resume in an instant.

IN TRANSIT

I’m writing this post from an apartment in Rome…and I think that sentence is pretty indicative of just how much my life has changed in the last few months.

 

A little over three weeks ago I worked my last shift for the Royal District Nursing Service. Appropriately, my last patient was a call-out for wound care, and it felt strange yet oddly satisfying to finish the dressing, pack away my equipment, and farewell the patient knowing, for a short while at least, I wouldn’t be doing that sort of work anymore. That from that point on, my time was my own.

I haven’t been unemployed since, at fifteen, I begun work at a supermarket called Bi-Lo. The fact that that supermarket no longer exists is a sign that a break was overdue.

So yesterday (or perhaps it was the day before – I crossed a timeline and got all messed up), I packed the essentials for living into a bag – for those of you playing at home, the essentials for living weighed fourteen kilograms – and left Australia for foreign shores. To live. For a while, at least.

I figured the change in life warranted a change in the layout of the website, hence the modern new look you’re presently enjoying.

 

Be prepared for a barrage of travel posts…

FOR SCIENCE!

As my last post detailed, I made the decision to venture overseas and live in England this year. One of the integral components of this endeavour was to become registered as a nurse in the UK so that I could fund my travels, rather than end up broke and homeless somewhere along the banks of the River Thames.

I love the idea of continuing my work in another country, and can’t think of a better way to get to know the character of a place than to drop into the homes of the people who make it up. Being able to practice as a district nurse in London is as exciting for me as the prospect of travelling. However, the act of getting registered has not been as straight forward as I had hoped.

Despite growing up in an English-speaking country, attending an English-speaking school, and getting a degree from and English-speaking university, one of the hurdles I had to jump was passing an English exam to prove I could read, write, comprehend and speak English. I am thankful to say I passed. And the act of proving I had indeed mastered the English language only set me back five-hundred odd dollars.

After that, I had to prove I had all the required knowledge of a nurse. Again, I have a degree and have worked in the field for six years, but I could understand the necessity of proving this knowledge. After all, some people are very good at phoning in their jobs. So I sat a practical nursing exam, and again, thankfully passed, proving to myself and the world that I can nurse (Yes, it can be used as a verb, I’ve passed an English exam and have the certificate to prove it). And this evidence of my nursing knowledge, a compliment to my degree, let’s say, only set me back another five-hundred odd dollars.

What followed was a hurricane of paperwork that I had to obtain from multiple sources including my university, the Australian registration board, a doctor, my current employer, and the Victoria police force (all for a certain cost, of course). After weeks of gathering all the necessary documentation, I dropped the brick of paperwork into the mailbox and sat back, awaiting my registration with a grin.

Only, it wasn’t as straight forward as I had hoped.

The UK registration board left me waiting for a month and a half, after which they replied that the forms I completed, THAT THEY PROVIDED, weren’t detailed enough, and they required further information. For the past two months I’ve worked and waited, and enquired and waited, and collated and waited, and have now sent off another batch of paperwork that I hope will be acceptable. Although, given the nature of the process so far, I’m not booking any day trips around London quite yet.

But, the point of this long-winded story is that during this process I found myself very much stationary. From the fury of the initial idea of moving, of renting my house and relocating, of mentally ticking off to-do list items, I was suddenly stuck in limbo while I waited to hear back from university and registration boards. I found myself putting off beginning anything as I didn’t want to run the risk of committing to something I would have to drop once I had the green flag to head to the UK. I wasn’t making plans with family and friends, because I might not be in the country in two months time to complete those plans. In short, I began stagnating.

It was while waiting on the second instalment of paperwork that I realised I couldn’t keep my life on pause. These months, this time, was life still happening, and I was getting itchy with my self-enforced purgatory. Once I had this realisation, I started up again, deciding I’d deal with the potential conflict of clashing plans once that demon was on my doorstep.

One of the things I decided to do was apply to write for an online science magazine. Of which I now am.

The Australian Times is a grass-roots not-for-profit organisation that releases a collection of over forty magazines free for the community. In the latest edition of Science, I wrote an article about the creation and trial of a bionic pancreas.

You can read it here.

2014/15

2014 felt like a year of waiting for me. Maybe waiting isn’t the right word. A year of rest, perhaps. But not simply rest, more the relaxation between efforts. The moment of sitting down, stretching out legs and breathing deep, of letting muscles slacken and body sag, before slapping knees and standing to tackle the next job. 2014 was a year of repose.

But despite the sense of respite the year has left me with, things happened in 2014. The biggest and brightest that springs to mind was my trip through the United States. It was a trip that took me away from the comforts of home and family, and opened me up to new friendships and experiences. It wasn’t challenging in the way hiking up a mountain might be, or backpacking through a foreign country, instead it tested this introvert’s ability to participate and get involved without the safety net of heading home at the end of the night. I deliberately placed myself in a situation that didn’t include my normal supports in an effort to strengthen my rarely flexed social muscles.

The trip involved putting forty-two adults ranging between twenty-one and thirty-seven on a bus together, and driving that bus from one side of North America to the other. Not the usual past time of an introvert.

It took a while for me to ease into it, like lowering into a hot bath, my rigid and tense body sinking in small piece by small piece until, submerged and immersed, I relaxed. And a good thing I did too. Away from the stress and routine of work, I rediscovered the joy of impulsivity and spontaneity. I didn’t have to plan for things, to go to bed at certain times in order to be up at certain times, parceling my alertness to ensure I made it through the work day. I didn’t have to squeeze activities around an eight-hour shift, staggering to these events with the dregs of energy left to me.

Activities became my full-time job. Speaking to new people, sharing meals and experiences and drinks, was the sole expenditure of my vigour. Seeing new things, new environments, new communities, having new thoughts, was now the purpose of my day. And with that new purpose came new drive. I was surviving off five hours sleep at best each night and feeling more energetic than I ever had.

And by the time the trip wound to an end I knew this was what I’d been waiting for. This, this feeling, experience, frame of mind, was what I’d been inching towards the whole year without realising it. I was a hibernating bear sensing the first rays of spring, and that new season was kick starting my sluggish arteries. I decided I needed more of it; I was done hibernating.

 

Since before even leaving school, I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to be realistic, that once I left this complacent nest of learning and days dictated by ringing bells, I had to work towards supporting myself. I took two years to obtain a Diploma of Writing, an indulgence for myself I completed while working thirty-six hour weeks at Coles, but I knew in the real world people had to work, so I walked out of one tertiary building and straight into another, and began studying to become a nurse. Nursing meant job security.

I completed my three years of university, slogging through the trials of clinical placements, hours of lectures, and headache-inducing exams, without really giving any of it much consideration. I was being realistic, and on the right path. I completed the course, swapped the title of student for nurse, and started working. A lot of graduates entered the workforce doing only eight shifts a fortnight, an easing-in process. This I also didn’t give much thought to: I’d be working full-time. I knew this was what an adult did, had seen my father work endless hours, often weekends as well, and knew this was the lot of a grown-up. Of a provider. So I commenced full-time employment on forty-five hours a week.

I came out the other end of my graduate year almost burnt out, a withered black match with only a millimetre of unburnt wood left to me, pinched between shaking fingertips. I had gritted my teeth and clung to the resolution of adult work-ethic, and it had kicked my arse. I was ready to leave nursing — but not full-time employment, of course.

I found a job as a medical writer and worked in that position for three months until contracts dried up and I found myself unemployed. This felt very wrong to me. I was twenty-four and not working. This was not being very realistic. I found work as a district nurse, and discovered, much to my pleasure, that it was work I enjoyed. I was doing a forty-hour workweek again, and confident I was back on track.

I continued down the responsibility path and purchased a house with my girlfriend, and after a couple of years, garnered a promotion. My girlfriend and I split, but I bought her out of the house, my sense of adult responsibilities serving me well in still being able to make repayments. I was doing it, I was an adult, working full-time with a property to my name and succeeding in my job. And it wasn’t until this point, until I reached this peak of being a provider, this adulthood nirvana that I’d been slogging towards since leaving school, that I stopped to look around and question what the fuck I was doing.

Because I had overlooked a rather pertinent point. I had modelled my work ethic on a man who was providing for a family. A man who headed into work each day knowing he did so to feed and clothe his four children. I didn’t have four children. The only dependents I had were a lemon and lime tree that survived despite my months of neglect (Side note: Dad repositioned them to a sunnier location and probably saved their lives. You can see why he was an influential role model).

I had accepted the inevitable role of provider and the responsibilities that went with it without ever questioning if this was what I needed to do to survive. If, in fact, there were other patterns to self-sustainment, a plethora of varying patterns, that didn’t involve working forty-hour work weeks, particularly when the only one I had to provide for was myself.

This realisation opened up new avenues for me.

 

The combined insight that I was not a bear made for hibernating, nor a father providing for four, meant that the track I’d set myself on since before leaving school had played itself out. That track had given me incredible experiences and lessons, but they were lessons for a more black and white me. I was ready for a new path.

Which is why 2015 won’t be another year of repose, but a year of exploration. I have already moved out of my house and back into the comforting embrace of my previous residence in Brunswick West, and am once again enjoying the company of my brother and his girlfriend. But this is only a temporary lay-over. In March, I intend to fly to the United Kingdom which I will make my new home for at least twelve months. I will work, because I haven’t changed so much as to disregard the idea of a responsible income completely, but only casually, as a district nurse in Scotland, and later in London. My primary purpose will be to see. To experience. To explore. To engage. To discover. To act.

2014 was good for me in both the rest and insights it offered, but now it’s time to slap my knees, stand, and tackle the next adventure.